Another day and still moodless...

This morning, was so excited to getting my new phone, but in the end, didn't get it because of my sister. She felt angry and jealous after my mum told her. After my parents discussed with me by giving her the phone first since her birthday is coming soon, I felt a little sad and I thought by getting a new phone would cheer me up because I was feeling moodless and depressed about what happened during band yesterday. And now, I am still feeling moodless and depressed, and I kept on blaming myself for what I had done that made some one avoid me and ignore me. 

I hope that one day, that particular person will accept me and all my depressions will be gone once and for all because all the past people that I wanted to chase after, I failed and failed and failed, and I cried because my heart hurts a lot and I almost wanted to kill myself. But I told myself that I will stop liking people from the beginning of this year to put aside of all of my misery and concentrate on my studies, but until last month Valentine's Day, the feeling of love had came back and I thought this time I would get a chance from a different person, but it seems that I will have no chances at all. Now, the depressions had came back again.

Day after Day, Week after Week, I kept blaming myself for telling a betrayer, who is one of my closest friends, and sometimes, I cried. Now, I am searching for that betrayer, and once I get my hands of him/her, that particular person will pay for the things that the person had done because that person made me feel even worse than ever before. 

Hope I could become normal again tomorrow.

Thats all I gonna say...

Yesterday...

Had fun performing in Deyi!!! Before the performance, I was so damn nervous because my best buddy, Kamarul, was not allowed to perform, so I must play the drumset for only two days of side reading. Some of the Deyi band members performed a few song for us section by section and one of the Deyi percussionists performed a drumset solo, which I only get it on his intro, but towards the end, i didn't quite get what he was playing as there is no rhythm and he made a few mistakes, but overall he played pretty good and from what I see was that he felt very nervous when playing. After hearing it, I just think of something and played, so that I will not feel nervous, but I think I played pretty well as I had a lot of the "feels" on the drums. 

After the performance, one of the percussionists came and talk to us and she asked me whether do I still recognise her since SYF last year. Then came the guy who played a drum solo and the both of us chatted awhile as the band need to roll soon. After talking to him, went to talk to Danial, but he forgotten my name, sad, but he remembers me. HHEHEHEE!!!! But the both of us just talk for a few minutes as the band was leaving the room. Hope the both of us can see each other again, but we forgotten to exchange contacts. Thought that I could meet my cousin but he was no where to be found, but I left him a message saying goodbye as he eagerly wanting to meet up me. On the way back, the band opened up a present that Deyi gave to us, and there were two boxes of Ferrero Rocer and the whole band were fighting over it as some of them received one and some received two.

When we reached Jurongville, I went to the band store to play some crap or should I say, noise or non-rhythmic. But I stopped for awhile as I felt a little bored, so I tried to practice some shuffle dance moves and moonwalk skills. Awhile later, went back to the band room to sleep while waiting for my sister to finish her practice and I was damn sleepy at that time. After the whole day, went to bed quite early as I was still sleepy at that time and tired after my daily work out in the gym.

That's all about yesterday.

WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment)..
Here I come..
**Can someone please help me..**
**I need help badly**

Yesterday...

The band had games before the Minister Visit Rehearsal and I was one of the Game Master, that Elijah appointed, for one of the game and my partner was Christine. The game that we were appointed was about using a single breathe to blow one or two balls from one ball to another which the first bowl is filled with water. Both of our intention was to pour water on them if they didn't get any ball into the second bowl.

So, the first section is Trumpet and they were curious on what was going on as the area was dry. Among all of them, only Jasmine didn't get wet as she got a ball into the next bowl. And some of the trumpets, which I can't remember what exactly happen, poured water at both Christine and me. Lucky the both of us were a little bit wet as there isn't much water left. Next was my section, Percussion section, and they were a little freak out as they show the place wet, and all of them didn't get a single ball in and all of them got wet, and Kenneth chase after me after pouring water on him, and suddenly he slipped and fell. After that, Flute and Oboe section came, and they were freaked out as they show the area wet. The first two people who go first were the Samuels and they were being poured by me as they didn't get a single ball in with a single breathe, but before I pour on them, I was being poured by Shu Wen with a big amount of water and some of the girls show me getting ready to pour on them. After their turn, the next two were the Oboist and only Vania got wet by Christine as she didn't got a ball into the bowl. The next two were the twins and the both of them got wet by me. After that were two more flutist, which I forgotten their names, and they were also being poured by me as they didn't get a ball in. Last was Audrey, and she helped the flute and oboe to get 40 points as she blowed two balls into the bowl.
After their turns were done and when I was refilling the bowls of water, each and every one took a bowl of water, big and small amount, and they all poured at me, and I was super damn wet as they did not pour on Christine. Lucky her. 

The next section came was Christine's section, Saxophone, and all were being wet by both Christine and me except for Jing Shi as he got a ball into the bowl. After their turns were done and the both of us were being poured by the Saxophones, and when I was on the way down to refill the bottle of water, Jia Yi smacked my back. Ouchh!!! Next section was Trombone and they were being poured by Christine as I was feeling a little cold at that time. After their turn, French Horn section came, and there were only three of them and all three were being poured by me as the first time they took, Lowell got a ball in, and when they got a second chance ,which is a bonus, as they had only three people, Sin Chieong got it in but not for Lowell. and both sin Chieong and Lowell chase after Christine as they wanted to pour water and her, and when I was distracted by them, Nadiah took two big amounts of water and pour at me, and I was super super wet.Next were the lower woodwinds, and all of them were being poured by me as they didn't get a single ball in. Next and the last sections were, Tuba and Euphonium, and all of them were being poured by me except for some of them as they didn't have extra clothes and we need to rehears for the Minister Visit. After their turn, all of them took a bowl and poured at me and some even throw bowls and balls at me as there weren't any water left and Farhan and Adilah were snatching the bottle of water from Christine as they want to get revenge.

when it was about time, Christine took up a mob and a pail and also a piece of cloth as I mobbed the floor while Christine wiped the table. Awhile later, Kamarul came and he helped me mob the floor. Thank You so much Buddy!!! I owe you one, but I told him to help to bring down the percussion instruments while I continue to mob the floor. After games and tidying the place, the rehearsal starts. And all of us had fun and some laughter.

After the rehearsal, all of set back to band room and I hide behind the Timpani to change as my shirt was wet, and Kenneth took a picture of me, Topless. Here is the picture:

What the hell!!!

After every thing, I was super tired and I had a slight fever.

So..That's all I gonna say. Bubbye!!!

Valentine's Day is coming..
Would YOU be my Valentine?
Please...

ARGGHHH!!!

Last week, I bought a pair of Joey Jordison drum sticks from Ebay and my mum allow me to get them as I will be using my own money after I've got my Good Progress Award of $150. The sticks cost me S$60++ and I am happy as she allow me to get them. Later, she told me to cancel it after I had purchase it because she say its not worth the money. But its like the best stick ever because we can dismental the stick, not only that, it has Joey Jordison signature and cannot be found in any parts of Singapore. When I wanted to cancel it, the seller told me that I must still pay for my purchase, but my mum helped me to tell them that I am not paying. The next day, they send me another notice, saying that, my Ebay account is suspended. Like What The Hell man, I thought of really pay for the pair of sticks and get them, but I must now wait until my birthday comes. DAMN!!!

ARGGHHH!!! I really really dieing to get hold of them. I WANT it WANT it WANT it. If I get them, nobody can touch it without my permission because its super precious.

Woahh..two more days, all the Sec 3s are going for their Sec 3 Adventure Camp. I will be lonely during Band practices and in online as the friends I usually hang out will be camping for three days straight. 

Chinese New Year is next two weeks from now. Can't wait for the red packets as I am super keen to get my new phone, the W960i. 

Not only that, Valentine's Day is also coming and I don't know what to get.

That's all I gonna say.

"Sighh.."

Another day, another life in misery and depression. Seems like all the close friends that I always mix with are ignoring me except for Sery as she is the only one that talks to me the most. Thank you!! Am I irritating, annoying, or something esle that make you all stop talking to me at all? If I am, I am sorry!!! Or what is the use of living anyway as I will always be lonely at all times. If it really is, the happy Glenn that most people sees, will become moody and emotionless forever and it cannot be removed anymore. I am serious about it and this is not a joke or laughing matter as some people will think I am joking. But just to tell everyone, I am damn serious. Thought I could cheer up by laughing together with my classmates, percussion members and a few of the other band members, but it doesn't work as I forced myself to smile and laugh. The pain in my heart is still there and I hope it can be removed, but it seems that it can't.

That's all I gonna say.

This time, it is really Goodbye to the Bright side of Glenn...FOREVER!!!

"Sighhhh..."

Seems like whatever I do to lose all my weight, I think is a total waste. I thought by talking could bring us closer but I think is not. I never done this losing weight thing to any other girls but only for you. I thought being fit would make you accept me, but it will not happen and it doesn't work at all. Now the bright side is really gone forever. And seems like I can't win your heart in any way I do. Now my heart is like being chopped into pieces and cannt be put back again. When I got home today and started bathing, I banged my head on the wall a few times and saying that: "Why I can't win her heart..Why I cannot talk to you face-to-face..Why I cannot encounter this shyness in me all the time..Why am I so damn stupid by not making friend with you when I first show you..." Now I am moodless and could do anything, eat properly and sleep properly. Why am I so stupid and dumb? WHY? WHY? WHY?. Everytime I see you with another guy, I cried but in my heart as I dare not show you as you may thought that I am a cry baby because of this thing all because of total sadness I am having right now. By coming back to Sec 5, I thought you may think that I am not the people that don't study. It really hurts a lot. You may think I am sensitive after what I said. Feeling in this kind of state really make me a different person, but I don't know why.

That's all I gonna say..

"Goodbye to the bright side of Glenn".."Goodbye forever"

''Sigh"..

Another day..still emotionless..my uncle gave me his 160GB Black iPod, but I am still not happy as my heart still hurts. The pain is getting more painful and more painful. Thought the iPod that my uncle gave me would make me feel better, but it doesn't. Today, when I took my shower, I cried again as my hearts hurts alot. Hope the pain in my heart will go away soon and hope some miracle could happen, so I can have some peace.

School is reopen soon and I don't know what to do because the depression made me not to do anything happy, but sad instead.

That's what I gonna say..

Another day..still as miserable as ever and cannot be cheered anymore. Thought after talking to some of my friends to cheer up yesterday, but still doesn't work at all. My heart still as painful as ever before that made me emotionless. Last night, before I slept, I cried as the pain in my heart is still there and also when talking to some of my friends, I also cried. This is the first time I cried because of this total sadness. Now, nothing can stop me from being emotionless. Because of this total sadness, I can't eat properly, I can't sleep properly and I can't do anything at all. Thought I can cheer myself up by practicing my drumming skills, but it doesn't work at all. I tried to play some games, but it also doesn't work at all. Also, this sadness almost made me to kill myself as the pain in my heart is really like being broken into millions of pieces and cannot be put back together again.

That's all I gonna say..

Past few days..

Was super tired as I did not have enough sleep for days and I was practicing my skills of drumming like hell as I want to become like Joey Jordison, Slipknot Drummer, in future. His skills and techniques are super great as his stickings are super fast and all the beats super acurrate. Now, to start with the practice, I am practicing my double stroke as I can't play double stroke fast because of my left hand. Everyday without fail, I will practice until both of my hands can play fast, with all my blood, sweat and tears. Though sometimes it may be boring practicing everyday, but I will stop until I succeed in my drumming. Not only practicing my drummings, I also do push-ups for warm ups and also cruches.

After that, I will do some leg excercise so that I can play a double bass drum-set. Sometimes, I will be in my room imagine the drum-set and play along together with the music. Some of y'll will think that I am insane and funny, but all this practice do works for us drummers. 

Really, after all that, its was really damn tiring but its all worth it. 

Ermm...yeah..that's all I gonna say...

Bubbye.!!! Cya all Next Week when school reopen..!!!

Miss somebody alot..
Few days til that person comes back..
Miss ya alot..